____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize