So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
