so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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