I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My nipple is on Facebook.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
