the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
