used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Threesome in a minivan. New low
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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