C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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