Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
