oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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