Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
