she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
