We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
