In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
