We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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