how can u be prego again
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize