just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
