it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
