speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
