Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
