she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
