I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
