By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
