Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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