don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
