This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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