im holly from the hills drunk
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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