sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
