No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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