He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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