she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
