Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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