Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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