Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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