dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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