better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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