You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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