I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize