Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
