ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
