It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
