I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize