It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
