remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
