How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize