Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize