Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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