just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
