The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
