Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
