why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
