You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
