I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
