As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
