So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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