just tell him i said nine months
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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