Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
