We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
