Don't you send me to vm
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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