whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
