I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
