i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
