So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
