The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
