I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
