u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
