Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize