Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
