Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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