i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
