im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
