So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Those nachos came to me in a dream
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
