I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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