I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
