I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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