i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
