Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
