we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
